Blowjob Horror Stories

Blowjobs are a labor of love; otherwise, you might find yourself in a sticky situation

I was watching Brazzers’ new scene, ‘In a Bind’ with Savannah Bond, Kayley Gunner, and Charles Dera, and found myself mesmerized by how they share his big dick.  I was still thinking about how they would describe sucking and riding his majestic cock when I found myself reading a horror story titled ‘The Death By Wiener.’

“I once got a cock ring stuck in my throat while giving a blow job, and I started choking. I was thinking to myself: "This is it. This is how I'm going to die. Death by wiener." I also started thinking about my funeral and people asking my mom how it happened. I started laughing so hard at the absurdity of it all that the cock ring got unstuck.”

—MistressMissy

I loved this so much! I’m sure there must be a plethora of amazing near-death-by-blowjob experience stories, so Tweet us @Fleshbot so we can share your story too.

“My boyfriend and I were on vacation and decided to head into the bedroom for the night. We had a little too much wine, but still decided to have oral sex. I threw up on his penis, and my instant reaction was to suck all of the vomit back in my mouth. He later described it as a vacuuming sensation and thought it was pretty cool. I cried for a solid two hours.”

—livl3

We see girls spitting and slurping on dicks all the time, and I’m very happy for anyone and everyone enjoying some messy oral sex, but… vomit? Just the thought of it made my stomach turn.

Blowjobs are all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

“She was extremely enthusiastic.

Used her teeth…enthusiastically.

Grabbed bollocks and massaged them like the Mountain massages heads…enthusiastically.

Allowed her enthusiasm to overstep her ability…enthusiastically. This lead to projectile vomiting of the sort usually reserved for the morning after a dare to deplete the full liquid reserves of a city’s breweries. To be fair, it was enthusiastic upchucking. But there’s something about picking carrot chunks out of your willy-moustache, and wiping puke off your sac, while she’s having a sob about how “it’s never happened before” and she doesn’t understand why it did “because every man she’s sucked off was waaayyy bigger so it must be your fault” that just ruins the moment.

Then she wanted to make-out to make-up. Without brushing her teeth. Blood shot eyes from her bout of amateur dramatics, snot dripping, and Mr Happy very much on a protest strike. Which lead to an argument about not finding her attractive.”

— blondevikinginvader

“Girlfriend had just got braces, felt a little burn but didn’t mind, thought it was nothing big. Didn’t realize until later, when we were having sex and afterwards I found out I could apparently become a death metal stereotype and ejaculate blood.”

— Haeguil

Source: Brazzers, Scene title "In a Bind"

“My ex was giving me head in the hotel room one night while we were on a trip with other people, and she scraped me a bit with her teeth. Didn’t think much of it, although it was odd because I Had many blowjobs from her, none with teeth.

Then, there was more teeth. So I said “Ooh hey be careful there” and she smiled and kept going.

Then again, but when I said something she looked up at me angrily, opened her mouth and fucking chomped down. I was so pissed, and my poor dick was bleeding. Of course, I said “What the fuck!” And she goes “You ignored me all day today!”, crossed her arms and pouted.

Worst blowjob ever.”

— Z3ppelinDude93

These stories are exactly why communication is the key to happiness. I appreciate enthusiasm in sexual encounters, but please, help your partner, please you. Let them know, kindly and respectfully, what it is you like and what you don’t. Sex should be a win-win whether you’re on the giving or receiving end.

“She passed out with my dick in her mouth. Turns out she had been prescribed Ambien for insomnia and didn’t mention that she took one a little bit before. I didn’t notice until I heard her cock-snoring . I had to very carefully lift her drooling face off my rapidly deflating penis and put her to bed, and to this day she either doesn’t remember or feigns convenient memory loss as to that night.”

— SovietPropagandist

“A hook up was giving me a blowjob and when I came in her mouth she freaked out spat the gun at me and started shouting at me. She didn't say don't come in her mouth so I just assumed she knew it would happen. Anyway she's the reason I now always warn girls when I'm about to blow.”

“She told me it was ok to cum in her mouth.. when I did, it was a gag fest.. she started, then I started because she was gagging.. if a camera was there, it would have been a the greatest comedy script ever!”

I have to say that even though I’m in a lesbian relationship, I have always had a flexible and fluid sexual orientation. That said, having semen in my mouth sounds, and has always sounded, utterly unappealing to me. And that’s why I made sure that the men attached to the dicks going in my mouth were well aware of this and ready to finish elsewhere. People with dicks and people who put them in their mouths- consent, consent, consent. Let your partner/s know what you’re ok with and what you’re not, or don’t complain when you find yourself in a messy situation.

“Don't know if it was worst or not.. but I was driving when she insisted.. so I took my dick out and she started sucking it.. and it actually made me harder.. I started enjoying it and suddenly some girl came in front of the car and I put brakes so hard that the car got slipped. And when it stopped she was staring at me with anger and when she saw her getting up from my dick she started shying.. lol but I enjoyed all that.”

Source: Brazzers, Scene title "In a Bind"

Honestly, I don’t have a penis, so I don’t know what the ‘perfect blowjob’ looks like. I know Savannah Bond, and Kayley Gunner look perfect doing it, but it seems like the only sure way to get a lousy bj experience is not to guide the giver of the blowjob.

Watch the entire Brazzers' scene, "In a Bind" by clicking here.