How to Take the Perfect Dick Pic

Dick pics can be a work of art; a beautifully showcased cock can be a huge turn-on! But here are a few things to consider before sending it and a few tips and tricks so you can take the perfect dick pic.

Dear reader, sending unsolicited and unwelcome photos of your genitalia online is called cyberflashing, and in some cases, the people who receive them are victims of your sexual harassment.

That sounds harsh and extreme, but think about it this way: You buy a soda and stand staring at the straws for a moment. You know you shouldn’t, and you wonder if the mental image of a turtle choking on plastic will dissuade you from the inexplicable comfort of using a one-time-use straw today. “It’s just one straw,” you tell yourself as if you’re negotiating with your conscience. The problem is that over 7,982,460,000 people on this planet might also be considering using just one straw today. What I mean by this is that you might think that what you are doing isn’t a problem, but it’s part of a much bigger issue affecting millions of people daily.

I’m going to tell you about cyberflashing so we can make sure that none of the perfect dick pics you take after reading this can be legally described as “unsolicited and unwelcome sexually graphic images or harassment.” Cyberflashing “happens when a sender transmits explicit photos through Wi-Fi, messaging applications, online platforms, Bluetooth, or other file-sharing applications.” Even though there aren’t any federal laws that prohibit cyberflashing, it is a misdemeanor in Texas and New Hampshire (fines of $500), you could get sued in California and even have to cover punitive damages and attorney fees, and other states like New York are working on legislation that would make it punishable by a $500 fine, 15 days of jail time, and sexual harassment training would be compulsory. (Insert gasp)

Consent is key.

It is more than okay to send intimate pictures if they are welcomed by the person receiving them. For me, the “unsolicited” part is more complicated because I wouldn’t necessarily feel sexually harassed if I received an unsolicited dick pic. So, how do you know if sending an unsolicited dick pic is okay?

Easy. If you are not 100% sure that sending your unsolicited dick pic is okay, don’t send it.

Just ask, “hey, want to see my hard cock?”

If that feels awkward, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t be sending the photo in the first place. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before you click send.

1. Has the person directly asked for a nude pic?
2. Will the reaction be positive?
3. Does this make me look sexy, funny, cheeky, brave, desperate, sad, or disrespectful?
4. Am I doing this in the right spirit?
5. Am I sending this to the right person?
6. Am I crossing boundaries?

A perfect dick pic has a context, time, and place. So be respectful, considerate, and mindful so that your genitalia causes arousal instead of trauma.

That said, let us get to the good part! Dick pics should be part of an erotic story or fantasy… something that keeps the imagination going and the fluids flowing. The best way to ensure your dick pic is sexy and erotic is to start with some foreplay. Here are my top 3 tips for the perfect dick pic.

1. DON’T BE LAZY.
2. Set the stage.
3. Start with foreplay and create fantasy: Tell the person about how you are starting to get excited thinking about X or Y and wait until you are fully hard to take a photo.

Pay attention and take notes about these tricks for “the stage.” Remember that the goal is to create art with your beautifully showcased cock and take the perfect dick pic.

• Find a nice, clean place that makes for a good background. You don’t have to rent a hotel but keep your toilet, dirty clothes, family photos (you know who you are), and dirty dishes out of the frame.
• Bathrooms are almost always gross. Unless we’re talking about a lovely tub/shower in candle lighting, taking the perfect dick pic is impossible in a bathroom. The lights are either fluorescent or dim. So, it’s either going to look like something you send a urologist for medical reasons, or it’s going to be unflattering.
• Remember that the person receiving the dick pic (hopefully) likes dicks; but you want them to like Give the picture context, show your body and your face, and maybe even have a little fun with yourself.
• Nobody likes being deceived, and I’m sure you don’t want to deal with a disappointed lover who had unrealistic expectations about your cock because of a misleading dick pic. You might feel tempted to get your longest, thickest-looking angle and not show anything but your cock, but it will backfire when the person is face-to-face with your dick in real life.
• There are only three acceptable angles for a dick pic. Taken from above, you can illustrate the length. Taken from the side, you can demonstrate the hardness and trajectory/curves. Taken from the front, you can show off more than just your cock.

I know that many men enjoy taking and sending dick pics and that most people, in the right circumstance, would love to receive a sexy and tempting message that makes them feel wanted and appreciated. Don’t overthink dick pics because they are meant to be spontaneous and erotic- but do think, and ask if you’re unsure. Asking, “do you want to see?” is not a turn-off, and it could save you from accidentally hurting and traumatizing another person. The perfect dick pic is about consent, enthusiasm, and a little technique. I hope this is all helpful next time you want to impress someone with your dick art.