The Western World’s Fear and Loathing of Male Masturbation

The History of Male Self-Pleasure Has Sometimes Been Torture.

Most of us are aware of a traditional bias against women’s sexuality, including their right to explore their own body’s sensual responses. But men haven’t had it easy, either. If there’s one thing that Western religions have agreed upon, it’s that masturbation is bad. It’s selfish. It’s cheating. It’s sinful. Hell, it can even drive you insane!

While it had its detractors prior to the development of “Judeo-Christian” values, for the most part, masturbating was a null issue or even a divine act. The ancient Egyptians, for instance, were totally into male self-stimulation. Not only did the god Atum create the world by whacking off but his followers recreated the act annually to encourage abundant crops. In fact, jacking off into the Nile once a year was an important part of the Pharaoh’s job.

The Babylonians and Zoroastrians, on the other hand, condemned masturbation as a capital crime deserving of death. The ancient Greeks thought it was good enough for slaves, barbarians, and women but not for free men. For them, coupled sex as a penetrating Top was the only option, whether it be with a prostitute, a beautiful young man, or during an affair. Ironically, large penises were considered ugly and evidence of stupidity. Sorry, John Holmes.

When the Kamasutra was developed in ancient India, it encouraged all manner of sexuality, including masturbation. But the precepts of Tantra encouraged men to delay their ejaculation until their female partner was satisfied. Sadly, this eventually evolved into a general condemnation of male self-service.

Thanks to the Torah (called the Old Testament by Christians), Genesis 38 really started to fuck things up when it came to solo-stroking. When Onan refused to marry and cum inside of his dead brother’s wife and, instead, came outside of her body, all hell was let loose. First, his God killed him, and then the fact he hadn’t even jacked off (just pulled out) was ignored and a general ban on male masturbation was declared a moral necessity. Meanwhile, in Palestine, Rabbis did not agree, believing that both males and females provided “seeds” for the creation of a baby.

Early Christians viewed male masturbation with great alarm. Not only did it threaten the continuation of human life, but Medieval theologians claimed it was a mortal sin equal to murder. All that because a guy needs to bust a nut occasionally. For those not in the know, busting a nut is genuinely healthy for anyone who possesses testicles.

Alas for men and women both, when the 18^th century rolled around, the printing press thrust the anti-masturbation frenzy into the common dialogue because of a pamphlet circulated in London during the 1700s. Given the title was “Onania, or the Heinous Sin of Self-Pollution, And All Its Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes, Considered: With Spiritual and Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This By This Abominable Practice,” it’s not hard to figure out what the writer thought about masturbation. His opinion officially pathologized in Western medicine one of the most basic human behaviors. Things didn’t improve with time.

When British doctor Robert James declared in the 1740s that “there is perhaps no sin productive of so many hideous consequences,” he wasn’t talking about pride, greed, sloth, gluttony, or wrath. Twenty years later, a Swiss physician with just enough education to be dangerous proclaimed any number of physical and mental ills to be the result of self-stimulation based on his study of young male masturbators.

In the Americas, New Haven, CT Puritans took this shit seriously enough that they included masturbation with the crimes eligible for the death penalty. Knowing human nature, it’s a miracle anyone survived. White people didn’t wise up during the 1800s, unfortunately. Instead, “Of the Morbid State of the Sexual Appetite” was released. It concluded that overeating, drunkenness, and too much available free time as the causes of masturbation, which was a “venereal appetite” that was strong in the afflicted. It was, according to one scholar, a cause recognized throughout the world as leading to insanity.

Men who had the sexual misfortune to live in Victorian England were so desperate to avoid self-pollution that they were known to wear chastity belts or cock rings with spikes pointing inward. Kinky!

By the end of the 19^th century, masturbation didn’t just make you crazy, it destroyed your lungs, liver, nerves, spine, kidneys, and joints, as well as caused cancer and ultimately led to death. Pretty scary.

We like to think that the world got smarter during the 20^th century, but that’s not necessarily the case. Even today an integral part of the anti-masturbation movement is a regular and unremarkable part of our lives. Have you ever had a bowl of Kellogg’s cornflakes? They were developed because Dr. John Harvey Kellogg despaired because the “victim” of male masturbation led to death “by his own hand.” In addition to a bland diet, Kellogg had a brilliant suggestion for parents hoping to cure their sons of self-pollution.

What the doctor ordered was for children to have their hands bandaged or tied and their genitals covered with cages while they slept and had their foreskins sewn shut or circumcised without anesthetic. Children who found themselves in the hospital needed to be protected from wicked nurses who might masturbate them in order to make them fall asleep. Age it up and you’ve got a porn scene!

Once Freud appeared on the scene, he only muddled things up more with his idea that there was the “disease of masturbation” and that indulging in jacking or jilling would result in negative effects. He came to these conclusions after watching nursing, four-year-old, and adolescent children attend to their genitals. Yet, they call us perverts.

Fortunately for men throughout at least the Western world, H. Havlock Ellis was born during the late 19^th century and grew up not only to question the premises of previous thinkers on the subject of masturbation but to name some of the high-profile men who indulged in it. Not having pissed off his peers enough, he further went on to conclude that “moderate masturbation is healthy.” Time to clutch your pearls, America!

Not to be upstaged, sexologist Alfred Kinsey pushed the comfort level of society even further in the 1940 and 50s by pointing out that masturbation was not just an instinctive behavior for humans but that it was incredibly common. This did not initially go over well. Yet, somehow, in 1968, the DSM II removed masturbation was removed as a diagnosable condition. By the 1980s, denying children the right to pleasure themselves was deemed “rape by the parents of the sexual activity of their children” by Michael Foucalt.

Even with that social affirmation, when Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders mentioned that masturbation is a safe and healthy activity for humans to enjoy, she was forced to resign from office in 1994. On the plus side, that led to the birth of the Masturbate-a-Thon fundraiser in cities like San Francisco and Portland.

Now we know that men who masturbate to ejaculation have a lower incidence of prostate cancer. That doesn’t stop Orthodox and Hasidic Jews from wearing underwear that makes it possible to pee without touching themselves. In 2016, Italy and Switzerland declared that public masturbation was no longer a criminal offense so long as it was not directed toward someone, especially a minor. Some Islamic scholars aren’t ready to promote masturbation but see it as preferable to sex before marriage.

In 2023, in spite of socially conservative opposition, we see more men enjoying their cocks with and without partners. Fleshlights, vibrating cock rings, prostate stimulators, and even all-male masturbation clubs exist now to enhance shared or solo adventures. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t anti-masturbation voices shouting over the top of every human being who doesn’t identify as asexual, but currently, the law is in favor of us masturbators.

And, throughout it all, some men who live in the African Congo Basin don’t even have a word for masturbation while young men of the Sambia tribe of New Guinea come into their manhood by jacking off into someone’s mouth.

So, keep self-stimulating those loins, gentlemen! Masturbation is associated with periods of peace and prosperity, so you’re really doing it for super patriotic, and therefore admirable, reasons. Oh, and don’t give in to No Nut November, dudes. It’s seriously unhealthy. Since it’s Prostate Cancer Awareness Month and you probably want to stay healthy, you should just shoot your wad whenever convenient and call it “self-care.”