Throning: The Royal Seat (or Cheat) of Modern Digital Dating

What Is Throning: The Gen Z Dating Trend Everyone's Talking About

If you think you’ve heard it all when it comes to quirky Gen Z dating terms, buckle up, dear reader, because "throning" is here to add some sparkle (or maybe drama) to your lexicon. Don't worry; this isn't some Game of Thrones battle for your love life. No, in true Gen Z style, throning is a deliciously cheeky mix of ambition, attention-seeking, and a sprinkle of self-serving romance.

What the heck is throning? Throning is the act of dating someone for clout. And when we say clout, we’re not talking about grand mutual admiration. Throning is all about cozying up to someone with social, cultural, or professional pull to elevate your standing. Whether it’s about gaining followers on Instagram, rubbing elbows with a higher social stratum, or just collecting someone’s “cool points,” the goal is to get close to their metaphorical throne.

Image Credit: Urban Dictionary

Think of it as networking with a healthy dose of flirtation where affection might be real, but the intention is selectively sincere.

How did we get here? Blame it on the digital age. Millennials may have turned dating into a swipe-left-and-right sport, but Gen Z has taken it further, introducing social clout as an unspoken factor in modern romance. With social media driving so much of how people connect, flex, find jobs, and even fall in love, it’s not surprising that relationships have become entangled with status-seeking.

Throning isn’t necessarily new—it’s a concept as old as medieval monarchies (someone was always angling for proximity to the crown, weren’t they?). It’s more complex than “gold-digging” since that is usually about gaining financial benefit from a relationship. But technology has made throning highly strategic and oddly efficient. Want to boost your brand as an up-and-coming influencer? Dating someone who already has a blue checkmark might be the easiest way to do it.

 

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How do you know if you or someone you’re interested in is guilty of throning? Here’s your cheat sheet:

• They’re significantly more active on social media than in real life, and their lifestyle seems unattainable. Sound familiar? They might be swooning over more than just your smile.
• Dining at picturesque rooftop bars every Friday night starts to look suspicious when all the evidence lives in their Instagram Story. Does it seem like they’re dating you... or dating the idea of being seen with you?
• They’re obsessed with things like your job, connections, or platform. If they bring up your follower count more than how cute you look, clutch that crown tighter.
• You've barely been together a month, yet their reach and status seem to improve in tandem with your relationship. Convenient coincidence? Maybe. Calculated move? Also, maybe.

Here’s the thing: Relationships, especially in the modern era, are rarely as straightforward as fairy tales make them out to be. Yes, throning has a transactional nature, but is it inherently worse than any other type of alignment people seek in relationships? Some might argue that all dating involves a mix of emotional and practical benefits—a blend of mutual attraction, shared goals, and a bit of self-interest.

That said, the danger of throning lies in its inauthenticity. It’s one thing to admire your partner’s achievements; it’s another to use them as a stepping stone to build your empire. If someone is throning their way through romance, there’s a good chance they’re only focused on what a partner has to offer rather than who that partner is. And let’s be real, nobody wants to feel like an accessory in their relationship.

If the idea of being someone’s social ladder sends chills up your spine, it’s important to keep your eyes wide open. Here are some tips for keeping throning at bay—or avoiding being crowned unwitting royalty:

• Pay attention to how someone acts when the cameras are off, and the likes aren’t flowing. Are they still present, attentive, and genuinely interested in you?
• A person who’s throning might avoid deeper “get-to-know-you” conversations because they’re more preoccupied with surface-level benefits. Don’t shy away from emotional intimacy because it’s the ultimate truth detector.
• No matter how flattering their attention might seem, you don’t owe anyone access to your network, connections, or platform. Evaluate what someone brings to your table, not just vice versa.
• A healthy relationship doesn’t revolve around one person’s achievements or desirability. A partner should support your accolades without turning your life into their campaign trail.

Throning is the guilty pleasure dating term we didn’t know we needed. Equal parts cringe-worthy and captivating, it’s a reminder of how modern love is tethered to the intricate web of social capital. While it might sound cheeky on the surface, it also invites us to examine our motives and those of others when stepping into a relationship.

So, dear reader, the next time you swipe, flirt, or strike up a conversation with a cutie who seems just a bit too eager about your LinkedIn connections or IG followers, ask yourself: “Are they in it for the throne, or are they here for the king (or queen) in me?” The right partner doesn’t just help you wear your crown; they’ll adjust it proudly by your side. And that, dear reader, is the real clout worth chasing.

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