Genre: All-Sex

Date of Production: August 28 2018

Director: Kayden Kross

Cast: Kenna James, Evelyn Claire, Bree Daniels, Gina Valentina, Kissa Sins, Jessy Jones, Markus Dupree, Manuel Ferrara

Length: 2 Hours 7 Minutes

Extras: Feature Trailer, Scene Trailers, Cumshot Recap, Photo Gallery

Condoms: No

Audio/Video Quality: Filmed in HD and excellent acoustics with some exceptions. There is some echo in the opening scene due to the empty space and lack of soft material to absorb sound. At one point a dog can be heard barking in the final scene.

Overview:

Whereas classic porn is famed for being campy, corny and all around bad, Kayden Kross’ tribute is anything but.

Classic Porn is an all-sex tribute to the time-tested porno tropes of yesteryear. It revels in all of the stereotypes: the well-hung plumber, pizza deliveries and banging the coach. But Kayden Kross does it all with a twist, paying homage to old school porn scenarios while spinning them in new directions. And she does it all with impeccable film standards.

You’ll find just enough storytelling to set up each of the four scenes. Beyond that, this is an all-sex feature with three boy-girl romps and one girl-girl. None of the scenes are related to the other in the slightest. There are no toys and all cumshots are facials or pearl necklaces.

Scene One:

Evelyn Claire is eating Chinese takeout on moving day and sneaking a peak at a nude Kenna James’ shadow while she puts on lotion. Claire is turned on - visibly biting her bottom lip and inaudibly gasping.

She decides to play the silhouette game herself once Kenna has left the room, undressing and admiring her shadow on a tarp. Claire pulls back the sheet revealing a full-size mirror which she lays on the floor and watches herself masturbate like her own private porno.

Recovering from an orgasm, Claire notices Kenna James in the mirror, and you can see the worry and embarrassment in her eyes. How long has she been there? What did she see? But James reassures Claire, “it’s OK, you look beautiful.” Sensing the skepticism in her eyes, James undresses and rubs her pussy, driving her point that yes, this is perfectly OK.

Predictably, lesbian sex follows, but they ramp up in a nonlinear way. It’s an authentic feeling first-time affair with Kenna James leading and guiding a timid Evelyn Claire along. Claire deserves special credit for the way she develops from coy girlishness to sexual expressiveness.

It’s a spin on moving-day porn in which the lady of the house would typically bang the moving men. Beyond that, the scene has little in common with golden-age cheesecore. Instead of moving men, we’ve got astounding girl/girl sex. In lieu of corniness, there’s romance. And instead of low-quality perviness, Kayden Kross has put together a beautifully artistic production.

Set design is simple: an empty room with naught but a few boxes and that great mirror upon a hardwood floor. It’s a brilliant film device that lends to unique angles. The room is brightly lit with natural light and white walls, lending to a sharp contrast between naked bodies and the background. And the window leads to great backlighting and a dreamlike focus that is reminiscent of Ron Harris’ photography.

Kenna James leads to the most erotic moment when she locks on the Claire’s pussy and works her oral magic. You can’t see exactly what she’s doing, leaving the imagination to run wild. And Evelyn Claire spaces out in this orgasmic haze that you can feel!

Beyond oral, there’s plenty of soft and hard fingering, lots of eye contact and delicate kisses to build that erotic crescendo. And the way that Evelyn Claire emotes with each orgasmic wave is priceless. There’s tribbing too!

Scene Two:

Cue the horn-section and porny music! Bree Daniels fits the bill for an edgy ‘50s-’60s era housewife with her pearl necklace, space-age red hairdo, and classic dress.

Her house is perfect! Set in period-perfect kitchen, all the retro elements fit into place. You’ve got those pastel greens, white tile and old-school stove-top burners. It looks and feels like Happy Days. We’re just waiting for the Fonz to step out!

Fulfilling the tropes of old, Daniels clogs the drain and calls for the help of the most phallic profession of all: the plumber. While he’s fixing her pipes, Bree undresses and makes him show her what he’s got.

I like the power dynamic. Jessy Jones begins as the typical ‘50s male, making an offhand comment about how a woman shouldn’t be all alone with a big strong man in the house with her. Little does he know what Daniels has in store for him.

She’s downright intimidating, undressing herself and demanding that Jones show her just how much of a brute he is. Daniels is downright emasculating when he isn’t quite hard enough. She even turns the tables on him: “I’m surprised your wife lets you go on house calls alone with strange women.” Savage!

As dominant as she is in the beginning, Daniels just wants to feel a good fuck, and switches to a more passive role once Jones’ cock slides into her tasty twat.

Even today, Bree Daniels’ boy-girl scenes are somewhat rare and I’ve always enjoyed them as a special treat from the mostly girl-girl mistress. “The Plumber” is no exception. Daniels has this delicate and sensual means of sucking Jessy’s shaft which occasionally turns into some gagging deep-throats. That, and her brilliant red hair, remind me of the oral queen Camille Crimson’s artful performances.

With breasts that rival that of Aria Giovanni, Kross makes it a point to keep them clearly in frame in a shameless hats-off to booby-lovers. It’s only fitting that it ends with a pearl necklace above her endless bosom.

Scene Three:

Markus Dupree unveils another cooky character in the role of Markus Ivanoff, world-famous author. When pizza delivery girl Gina Valentina meets him, she is starstruck. But Markus is barely even aware of her existence, slamming the door in her face.

She concocts a plan and returns asking to use the bathroom. In his craziest russian accent, Dupree concedes, “fine, but then you go!” She gussies herself up like it’s date night, applying lipstick, fixing her hair, and even sprucing up her crotch with a splash of water before walking out in naught but her lacey lingerie.

Only then does Dupree notice. “So you are a woman.” Realizing her plan, he consents with one word, “fine.” Markus stands disinterested as she unbuckles his pants to reveal an impossibly sprung prick. It’s comical.

The couple copulate in myriad positions occasionally taking a break for a taste of oral sex. Kross’s direction shines with fabulous angles from a continuously moving and panning hand-camera. Much like Kenna James’ earlier scene, they make use of set elements, this time a sliding glass door to give a different perspective on the classic wall bang.

There is something unwaveringly beautiful about the way the scene was filmed. Part of it has to do with the set, with spots of green plants and a warm earth-tone color to the floor. That, combined with the lighting gives a natural vibrance to Valentina’s sun-kissed skin. Further, hair and makeup go a long way to highlight Gina’s natural beauty. And props to Kayden Kross for filming in a location that hasn’t been recycled in a hundred other pornos this year.

Scene Four:

Kickboxing has become wildly popular among many women. Even famed XXX director Holly Randall has taken to the sport. In the final scene, Kayden Kross opens with a montage of Kissa Sins training with coach Manuel Ferrara. She sprints, works the jump rope and does some padwork before stretching.

Here’s where the storytelling comes in. There’s a lot of natural chemistry between Sins and her coach--a sort of flirtatious energy that exists between the two, but they don’t cross the line, until Kissa accidentally gives Ferrara a taste of her right cross. They are forced to acknowledge their feelings when she kisses his blackened eye out of instinct.

Romantically, all that sexual tension melts away as they make out passionately. The scene shines in its foreplay. The way Kissa Sins expresses excitement and consent as her top comes off is simply thrilling.

Set in a park, Kross frames a bright and colorful scene with lush greens, a blue park bench and an abundance of flowers. Sometimes outdoor scenes can be flatly lit, but Kross captured the sex amid beautiful shadows and perfect natural lighting.

Kissa Sins only recently began shooting boy-girl scenes outside of her relationship to Johnny Sins, and she remains just as fiery as ever. She loses control almost the instant Ferrara penetrates her and cums hard as evidenced by that cherry-red glow on her chest.

The pop shot is noteworthy too. Cum drunk and desperate for the climax, Sins jerks Manuel off to a massive facial finish. He simply explodes.

Outdoor scenes always have the threat of distractions, and this is no different. Although Kross managed to avoid the ever-annoying passing airplane or helicopter, you can’t control wildlife. A dog can be heard positively losing its mind for a good five minutes. It’s the sort of thing you might want to cut, but the sex at that moment was purely magical. I don’t blame TRENCHCOATx editors for leaving the yelping in.

Final Thoughts:

Kayden Kross succeeds in making tired old porno scenarios fresh again. By casting some of the hottest stars and filming them in that trademark polished TRENCHCOATx style, she managed to carve an artistic vision out of a mountain of old-school campiness.

While the concept is to reimagine tried-and-true porno stories, some of the scenes, while good, don’t fit in line with the Classic Porn concept. Most guilty of that is the opening Kenna James and Evelyn Claire scene. While excellent as a girl-girl piece, it doesn’t feel like a classic porn setup in the least. Visually, musically and storywise, that scene is a proper romance--not a trope.

Even Kissa Sins and Manuel Ferrara’s scene falls out of line. Yes, banging the coach has been a porno plot for some time, but the romance and story didn’t seem to fit in. Don’t get me wrong, these are strong scenes with outstanding performances, but they don’t scream Boogie Nights to me.

Classic Porn provides excellent sex scenes, beautiful set design and glossy production values. There’s only one technical issue, that dog bark in Ferrara and Sins’ scene. Bonus features are numerous, but without a behind-the-scenes or extra content, add little value to the final product. Recommended.