This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX (SD and Blu-ray)

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody, Sitcums

Regan Reese

Director: Anton Slayer

Writer: Roger Krypton

Cast: Regan Reese, Anthony Rosano, Sindee Jennings, Voodoo, Ryder Skye, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Darryl Hanah, Rod Fontana

Non-sex roles: Dick Nasty, Jason Silver

Sindee Jennings and Voodoo

Length: 120:33 minutes

Date of Production: 7/14/2008

Extras: The standard definition version of the movie sported a double disc release while the high definition version in Blu-ray was released on a single disc. The SD started off the second disc with an 18:23 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Ryan Keely, additional nudity and interviews being the major aspect of the extra. The Blooper Reel was only 2:57 minutes long, the slide show okay, the five trailers standard, the usual spam, and thankfully a couple of bonus scenes; Nightshift Nurses: Escort Service lasting 15:12 minutes and a 17:25 minute long scene from Barely Legal #60 (both described below). The high definition version kept the same extras, even a few of those stupid phone sex ads, on the one disc.

Ryder Skye and the Mighty Evan Stone

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX (SD and Blu-ray) was presented in an anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 it was shot in by director Anton Slayer for Hustler Video in the MPEG-2 codec using 480i resolution for the standard definition version; the Blu-ray version checking in with 1080i resolution and the AVC codec, substantially more detail observed and an elevated bitrate helping "sell" the upgrade for me. The video bitrate for the SD version hovered around the 7.1 Mbps mark, an impressive feat though bolstered by the use of a second disc for extras. The Blu-ray version had a much higher rate, averaging about 19.1 Mbps when I watched it at all, and the resolution helped provide a better look at the cheesy sets and CGI used. The editing by "Nextdoor Jimmy" was reminiscent of some of the better VCA titles of the early 2000's (The Sopornos series comes to mind) but still a bit choppy during the sex scenes, the sets much lower budget than what I've come to expect from some of the better sitcum parodies offered by X-Play Media and the outfits far from good enough to warrant a nod in terms of design. There were no noticed compression artifacts in either copy but the grain in the night scene was a pain, even worse on the BTS feature. The audio was presented with a 2.0 Dolby Digital English using a 48 kHz sampling rate, the bitrate at 192 Kbps in the SD version while slightly upgraded to 224 Kbps on the high definition version. The theme song by writer Roger Krypton was probably the best thing about the parody aspects of the movie for me, the sexual situations truncated and limited as were the selected pairings in the scenes. The sound effects were almost right and the rest of the music by Drew Rose (the company DVD guru) was pretty solid even if the vocals had no noticed separation and limited dynamic range. There was an optional laugh track for those wanting to know when the movie was being intentionally funny too.

Regan Reese and Jack Lawrence

Body of Review: Porn parodies or "sitcums" have been all the rage in recent years, managing to outsell almost every other genre and provide tremendous amounts of financial "fuck for the buck" to production companies when done right but so few of them truly "work" as entertainment beyond the passing chuckle one gives them that it is incumbent upon a reviewer to look at them even closer than other flicks rather than rubber stamp them out of loyalty. Back in the early years of home video, in the 1970's and 80's, porn would often parody titles but the movies themselves had little to do with the original for fear of lawsuits and restraining orders (I remember how so many companies would shoot their wad making awesome box covers instead of better movies too). Nowadays, the driving force behind the better sitcums is the creative team at X-Play with their various "Not The..." series, each one better than the last. In porn tradition, this sets the stage for other companies to jump in and cut a bunch of corners to make a profit based more on marketing efforts than the movies themselves, a few actually working better than the rest even if playing second fiddle to the Will Ryder/Scott David hits. Challenging the award winning duo are guys like Anton Slayer and powerhouse production company Hustler Video with shows like This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX. Before I get too far, let me say that the basis for the parody, the beloved show "Gilligan's Island" is one of the most time tested, well liked situation comedies of all time, the show originally in black and white before changing to color several decades ago. It told the tale of a charter boat crew and passengers that were lost in a storm during a three hour tour, making due as they relentlessly tried to escape their island prison. While most viewers have probably seen episodes in syndication, it was quite popular back during prime time, and as such ripe with all sorts of elements to parody. Sadly, this version took the cheap road and even a cute theme song by my old pal Roger Krypton could not save it from mediocrity. The casting was weaker than average with Anthony Rosano looking dumb enough to play Bob Denver's "Gilligan", Rod Fontana a passable version of Alan Hale Jr's "Skipper", and Jack Lawrence a pretty close looking version of Russell Johnson's "Professor" but none of them acted much like the originals, the sets were poor imitations, and instead of paying homage to the show as others would do, it struck me more like a lame version of the already lame "The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island" made back in the 80's. The plot was basically that a porno crew landed on the island and interacted with the castaways, tossing aside so many golden opportunities at comedy that I wondered if the writer was purposely told not to make a decent script. Suffice it to say that there were little bits tossed in to amuse but so few and far between that it is easy to see why the screeners were sent out after release date, lest reviews scare buyers away. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Darryl Hanah and Rod Fontana

Scene One: Regan Reese, a slutty looking gal with lots of tattoos on her body, was up first as she aggressively blew Anthony Rosano (Gilligan). The porn crew spotted him taking a piss in the bushes and was impressed with his size, changing their plans to shoot an anal scene with Evan in the lead to moper Rosano. The leap of faith required for any porn crew to go from the mighty Evan Stone to Rosano aside, why dodge the anal bullet after expressly requiring it as an integral act for the movie being shot? Okay, Regan did give another fine hummer and her oral aptitude is not being questioned by this writer, but a stranded guy on an island would have busted a nut upon seeing her in the thong in the first place never mind when she let her titties hang out. For a parody flick; "epic fail" though for a generic sex flick it was pretty decent given her love of cock and the genetic juice launched onto her mouth.

Scene Two: Sindee Jennings, the cute brunette seen sitting down on the front cover, was up next as the theme song's "one more whore" (aka: Mary Ann), lacking all subtlety as she dropped down on her knees to blow porn crewman Voodoo. She actively worked the pipe with no tease and the creepy foundation that she was sexually abused by her father. While Sindee is always welcome to suck my cock given her oral talents on display here, she seemed held back a bit and even her moderately active vaginal ride couldn't give this one any replay value. The population pudding was launched on her sweaty torso, no chemistry displayed by either of them. For the parody aspects: "epic fail" with the sex not much beyond passable on a slow day.

Sindee Jennings and Ryder Skye

Scene Three: Ryder Skye, the gal in the red dress on the cover playing "Ginger", was up next in the straw hut bedroom. In terms of the parody, she looked nothing like the original, acted nothing like her, and seemed as though she were a last minute replacement of sorts despite fitting into a generic porno quite well. She was paired up with the Mighty Evan Stone, the guy going down on her well trimmed pussy before vaginally boning her and the gal slobbing his knob fairly well. The energy and enthusiasm levels were run of the mill at times but the technical aspects drew my attention more than usual due to the editing and camera work seeming choppy. The expected facial of spew wasn't bad but again, as a parody, it failed to address any of a million possible scenarios this writer had about Tina Louise that begged to be used.

Scene Four: Regan Reese, up once more as the generic porn performer tossed in for lack of better ideas, was up with Jack Lawrence in his hut laboratory, a single glass beaker used to signify the difference (shades of This Ain't The Munsters XXX!). Regan went into her "oral mode" and aggressively began inhaling his meat pipe but Jack, playing the "Professor" wanted some titty play and to eat her out, no clever quips about her quim as one might expect were he "in character" for the role. He fingered her to warm her up for his cock too, the gal not needing any assistance given how easily multiple fingers slid into her snatch as she moaned in true porn style. I liked watching her fleshy ass ripple in the doggy position and while she was not as active at riding as usual, she did show her skills enough to merit a load or two. There were parts of this scene (during the cowgirl) that were especially grainy and lit in a mediocre manner but Ryder's taste testing and DSLs wrapping around his cock a second time helped remind me that this was probably shot in a few days with a tiny budget. It ended when he rubbed one out to her mouth and she tongued him a bit, the parody aspects again weaker than they should have been (given the premise that they were stuck on the island for seven years).

Scene Five: Darryl Hanah, the foxy MILF seen on the far right side of the cover, was up next playing her rendition of Natalie Schafer's "Mrs. Howell" to Rod Fontana's "Skipper", a midnight liaison in her hut after he snuck over get some last minute loving. He ate her at length and she engulfed his cock orally to reciprocate, the gal preferring to actively ride the cock in her pussy instead. They did anal too and I suppose I was happy that she looked nothing like her namesake though it reminded me how inaccurate the theme song was considering he wasn't fat at all (maybe playing a younger version of the original character). Darryl was not an active anal rider though and that weakened the sex for me as much as the thematic dismissal of the characters had to this point, the facial lacking any finesse whatsoever.

Scene Six: Ryder Skye, Sindee Jennings, and Anthony Rosano, were up last in a tryst perhaps catering best to the whole castaway premise, Gilligan explaining why he never made a move on either of them in the past seven years. Granted, the reasoning was lame to the extreme as they would have been raping him nightly had he withheld his cock from them but the sexual energy of the scene managed to downplay his status as a third tier mope long enough to get a decent bit of action going. The ladies double teamed his cock orally, using hand to gland action as well as some messy knob slobbing. Sindee sat on his face and the ladies then began taking turns vaginally riding his rod with a modicum of enthusiasm. There was a lot of taste testing by the ladies and they milked his balls dry for their facials, the cute nod to Hustler seen on the radio before the credits rolled.

Bonus Scene 1: Nightshift Nurses: Escort Service: Darryl is the hot little vixen in the upper right hand corner of the DVD. She's wearing the full bodied red fish net outfit and traditional nurse's hat. Darryl has some very strong facial features and a beautiful body that looks like it was taken to the gym while the rest of us were busily watching way too much pornography. She's an escort and has taken her customer back for a little TLC. She shows off her ass and pussy through the fishnets at the requests of her man. Finally, as any normal paying customer would expect, he breaks out his dick. Like any normal escort, Darryl grabs it and starts sucking like her mortgage payment depended on it. She takes her time with him paying special oral attention to his nuts. Her guy must of paid for the works, ad Darryl takes hot looking reverse cowgirl and some smoking anal doggy style before taking a facial. The best part of this scene is that Ms. Hannah kept the nurse's hat on during the vast majority of the scene. As if hoping for a bigger tip, Darryl lovingly cleans off the dick fresh from her well fucked asshole off with her mouth. This is a nice hot scene that starts this DVD off the right way. (review by Colonel Mustard)

Bonus Scene: Barely Legal #60: Sindee is the incredible brunette on the cover of the DVD. Not only does she have a great body, but some of the sexiest eyes you'll ever see. After meeting up with the gardener (Jean Val Jean), Sindee drops to her knees and gives him head. As good as she normally looks, Sindee looks even better with a cock crammed in her mouth. They fuck in all the typical positions (missionary, doggy style, reverse cowgirl) before the climactic ending. Sindee takes a massive, and I mean massive, blast of cum right to the face and mouth. (review by Bobby McGee)

Summary: This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX by director Anton Slayer for Hustler Video was a misfire in terms of the parody aspects which was a shame considering the amount of press the marketing juggernaut has given the movie since even before it was shot but the sex wasn't too bad and will appeal largely to those of you that don't watch a lot of porn. I rated the movie's two versions as Rent It but I suspect the sales will be high based on the advertising more than anything else. There were a few charming homages to the original show but as I've said in the past, porn parodies work best when properly planned out with the right cast members, set designs, and other elements in place. In short, This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX managed to prove the title correct to the degree it wouldn't even qualify as a parody of the original show, the theme song notwithstanding, any more than the myriad of shows released in the early days of porn that paid such scant attention to detail that many of us asked "why bother"? Still, it was better than the Munsters remake last year, at least sexually, so maybe future efforts will be better before the genre burns out on this kind of castaway effort (pun intended).